One way of looking at the current age would be to describe it as the age of impulsivity. Unlike the past, there is less pressure on people to keep things in and to control their thoughts and feelings.

Nowadays, people are often encouraged to express how they feel and to allow their inner world to control them. In a way, it is as though society has gone from one extreme to the other.
One Extreme

Naturally, if someone holds everything in and maintains complete control over their thoughts and feelings, they are going to be more like a robot than a human being. To live in this way is going to take a lot of energy and they are not going to be able to use the information that their body provides.

Their mind will be exerting a lot of pressure on their body, which will make it harder for them to operate as a whole human being. On the plus side, the will to stop themselves from being pulled into things that don't serve them and this will give them the ability to develop themselves and to achieve things.

The Other Extreme

On the other hand, if someone doesn't hold anything in and has no control over their thoughts or feelings, they are going to be more like a child than a grown adult. Living in this way won't take much energy but they are likely to cause themselves a lot of problems.

Their mind won't be exerting much control over their body, which will also make it hard for them to operate as a whole human being. So while they won't be a repressed human being, they will probably find it hard to develop themselves and to achieve anything worthwhile.

A Number of Factors

As to why someone wouldn't be able to operate from the middle of the spectrum, neither controlling every thought and feeling or letting every thought and feeling control them, there can be a number of reasons. Firstly, it could show that they have a Smartphone and that this device has eroded their ability to control themselves.

Some of the apps that they have on this device were most likely designed to hook them in. So through becoming addicted to dopamine, these apps can have a lot of control over what they do with their time and attention.

Way Back

Secondly, their early years may have been the time when they didn't get the love and guidance that they needed to develop in the right way. As a result of this, the parts of their brain that are critical for self-control and emotional regulation might have been damaged.

Therefore, even if there was no such thing as a Smartphone or social media, they might still struggle. Through no fault of their own, they won't be equipped to manage their inner world and to control how they behave.

The Solution

Even if someone finds it hard to experience self-control, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything that they can do. One thing that they can do is to take the time to meditate.

When they do this, it will be a time when they are simply watching the thoughts and feelings that arise inside them. They are then not trying to control what comes up and they are not surrendering to what comes up either.

Final Thoughts

In the beginning, they can meditate for a few times a week and for about ten minutes each time. If they stick with this for a little while, they may feel the need to meditate for longer.

The main thing is that they take the first step and keep going, no matter what happens. What they may find, as time goes by, is that it is easier for them to experience self-control and to behave like a conscious human being.

Source by Oliver JR Cooper